International Bloggery

For Dana

2007-12-07T22:16:33Z

Reading your recent posts got me looking through my bookshelf for a book I've not picked up for a while:

The Dalai Lama's Little Book of Wisdom

Although I'm not buddhist, there are so many wise words spoken in this book by his holiness.

I hope some of these will guide you.

I think human beings are the superior sentinent beings on this planet. Humans have the potential not only to create happy lives for themselves, bus also to help other beings. We have a natural creative ability and it is very important to realize this.

With the realization of one's own potential and self-confidence in one's ability, one can build a better world. According to my own experience, self -confidence is very important. That sort of confidence is not a blind one; it is an awareness of one's own potential. On that basis, human beings can transform themselves by increasing the good qualities and reducing the negative qualities.

The smile is a very important feature of the human face. But because of human intelligence, even that good part of human nature can be used in the wrong way, such as sarcastic smiles or diplomatic smiles, which only serve to create suspicion. I feel that a genuine, affectionate smile is very important in our day-to-day lives, How one creates that smile largely depends on one's own attitude. It is illogical to expect smiles from others if one does not smile oneself. Therefore, one can see that many things depend on ones own behaviour.

Good conduct is the way in which life becomes more meaningful, more constructive and more peaceful. For this, much depends on our behaviour and mental attitude.

Quite simply, keep smiling hun, it's genuine smiles like yours that bring meaning to the mundane.

Gah!

2007-12-04T11:39:49Z

I'm sick...again!

I've just got over a throat infection and now I've got near to no voice apart from something that sounds like a squeaky frog lol

It's so annyoing, I got myself a nice warm winter coat, a scarf and I've not been caught in the any of the downpours lately, but still I end up getting sick!

*sneezes, coughs and splutters at you all*

Oy!

2007-12-01T08:08:17Z

I'm not saying much in this entry, there is stuff on my mind far too heave for the likes of livejournal.

I start my first 'official' day at work today 10am-7pm, it's the first day that the pub will be open to family and friends for us to serve them food and drink, I'm not really up for it today, but so is life.

It's also mine and Curtis's first Anniversary, one year and hopefully many more to come!

Update

2007-11-28T00:06:15Z

I havn't wrote an entry for a while, so here is a little update.

I started a new job Sunday, so far it's been all training, paid, which is good. It's another bar job, less pay but a better environment than my last job. It's a whole new pub, well what was an existing wreck of a pub taken over by M&B and it looks amazing, everything is new, the place was completely gutted and started afresh. I have my first 'shift' for family and friends on Saturday and then Tuesday we officially open to the public.

Nothing much else has been happening personally.

It's coming up to mine and Curt's first anniversay on the 1st December = D

He will be visiting on the 17/18th December until a week after Christmas which will be awesome.

Thats all for now <3

Thinking

2007-11-16T21:06:23Z

http://youtube.com/watch?v=1FdB5Adws78

I love this song...

On to what this post is actually about.

I need to talk and seeing as everyone is out the house and also that I don't think my family would really understand, I'll spill it here. I'm not expecting a reply, I just need to say what's in my head.

I'm extemely happy with how my life is at the moment, I have a wonderful family, an incredible partner, a job, I'm almost near graduation...but still I feel like there is one area where I am seriously lacking. Faith.
I'm not 'religious' in the sense of classing myself as Chrisitan or otherwise. I've never been christened and I've so far in my life never 'chosen' a religion through this process. However, I'd say Christianity is the closest to how I feel about God.

I feel as though i'm lacking in this area though, I know that I love God and that he has blessed my life with so much goodness but I don't feel like I'm fulfilling my 'religious' role as I should be, to connect with him in on a more personal level. When I was over in California with Curtis and his family I felt so close to them and so much closer to God than I had ever felt in my life. Since being home, I sit to read the bible, to read through passages I know so well, but it's not enough. I feel like I want to be doing something, volunteering, helping out with Church, going to Church! I dunno, doing something... I don't kniow if that sounds selfish, if it does that isnt my intention, I just want to learn more and to share what I know with other people

I dunno.
x

Hair

2007-11-11T22:08:24Z

Ok, so my hair is starting to get a lil long, well longer than it has been for some time.

I'm thinking of doing something with it...Im not sure what.

Right now it looks like this:

and I kinda like the lead singer from New Young Pony Clubs hair, here are a few shots:

They aren't very clear pics as they were screen shots from their videos lol

Finally an update from me

2007-10-27T09:35:16Z

It's been a while since I last updated this. Thing's have been pretty hectic lately. Started that new job, University assignments to work on and hand in and looking at various options which lie ahead of me.

So first off, Uni. It's going alright, I handed in my first assigment the other day, only a short one but it felt like a good start to the year to sit down and actually be able to think of things I wanted to say with ease rather than fumbling for words. The classes are progressing and I'm enjoying them more especially the 1960's class, there are some fantastic books and the lectures are pretty interesting. I finished reading A Clockwork Orange and now I'm mid way through re-reading (after several years) Island by Aldous Huxley.

Work...work...work. It makes me want to scream and rip out my hair. I'm annoyed because it's been about 4 weeks and I still don't have a set work schedule, one week I could be doing 6 hours the next I could be doing 20 and instead of day shifts that we agreed on he's calling me in to work evenings...at a job 5 miles away! My boss is also a bit of an ass, yeah yeah the typical moan about the authority figure at work, wrong. This guy is a jerk, seriously. The cook left yesterday for a underpaying job just to get away from him. He is bitter, spiteful and snaps at you for nothing, and I mean nothing.

But, on a lighter note I have an interview Tuesday for a job at a new pub/restaurant opening near by so *fingers crossed* if not that then there are other options. But one things for sure, I can't stay there any longer, there are a lot of sharp knives and temptation about.

On to other things. This morning I got my application for my provisional driving liscence. So, once I have that I can start booking lessons, I'm 20 and I've never driven, I feel slightly ashamed saying that.

Swoop and Mookel have new homes with fantastic new mommy's and a truck load of absolutely adorable bucks and does. It was extremely sad to part with them but I just don't have enough hours in the day at the moment to play with them and they really both needed the company of other sqishies.

Things with Curtis are as fantastic as ever! He'll be visiting from the 17/18th December until January 25th = D I seriously can't wait to see him, I'm so excited! We've not had a lot of chance to chat lately but things have been hectic for the both of us, me with work and Uni and Curtis with work, he's been re-hired because of the So.Cal fires so he is up in the foothills doing relief work for the firefighters that are out in So. Cal.

There are loads of other stuff I could chat about here but I'll save it for another post.

<3

For now, click:

2007-10-17T18:33:33Z

http://youtube.com/watch?v=2hyoszso38E

Job Status

2007-10-01T05:27:36Z

I had an interview yesterday for the Why Not Inn, a pub in Essington. It's good pay and a good pub and I think I've pretty much bagged the job. The only thing that's off putting is the distance. It will take me about 2hours by Bus to get to work everyday so it's going to be a 4 hour commute every shift. Yeah I could get there quicker if my parents took me (I don't drive and I don't have a car) but I feel like such a burden if I ask that of them...

I dunno, yay for indicision.

...sigh...

2007-09-30T22:42:43Z

Meh

Soooo...

2007-09-28T00:53:32Z

So, I finally decided to update this thing. I'm not sure what to say really. A lot of boring stuff has been happening, like starting back at Uni for my final year, trying to find a new job and sitting around the house bored out of my tiny little skull.

So, finally in the last year of my degree I've been able to choose subjects I'm actually interested in:
American Pop Culture,
American Humour
The 1960's: Pop Culture, Sub Culture, Counter Culture
Contemporary British Cinema
Unpopular Texts.

This semester (now until after christmas) I'm doing the American Pop, 1960's and Brit Cinema. So far all three have been fairly intresting. I have some really great lecturers and the reading material is excellent. Books like Clockwork Orange, The Atrocity Exhibition etc.

The Cinema class is a little lonely. The majority of the students are little cliques of film or creative writing students. I saw two girls from English and both of them are idiots. So, I sat on my own, a whole row of seats to myself and I enjoyed it thoroughly = P

I've been applying for a few jobs, the one I'd really like to get it day shifts at the Varsity Bar serving food/drinks, it's right next to the Uni and they are flexible around my study/lecture hours.

Tomorrow I am applying for a few jobs in Beatties aka House of Fraiser, aka the UK's version of Macy's = /
I'll admit, it's not the environment I exactly want to be working in, but it's work. I need the money and the counters they are looking for sale staff on aren't too bad, Urban Decay and Mac. Both of which I like even though I very rarely wear make up apart from eyeliner.

I also need to book an appointment at the doctors, being a dumbass hiking has lead to me having a very painful hip *ouch*

I'm really missing Curtis, I find he is on my mind the majority of the time, this is not a bad thing in the slightest, I love it the most when I go to bed thinking of him, I can picture, feel, smell, taste, hear him as if he were infront of me. It's been hard and I doubt it's going to get easier as the weeks start passing. But, I have to look to the future. This is just a bridge until I'm with him again, it's more building blocks to our relationship, valuable time for us to push forward with our future together.

I really want to write more, but I'm getting a bit teary as well as a bit tired. So. I'll keep this updated a bit more often than I have been doing. I have so much I want to say, sometimes it's hard to put it down in words.

Wakey Wakey, it's me again

2007-09-16T14:06:55Z

Two posts in just a few hours, lucky you.

I couldn't sleep very well last night, I woke up around 3 having had several nightmares, I can't remember them now but I woke up feeling quite sick to the stomach. I'd had a lovely day and a great evening, getting some sound sleep would have been nice.

But, that said I went up to Curtis around half 4 and cuddled up with him instead, it was just what I needed = ) <3

Well Curtis has just head to work and I'm contemplating whether or not to go to church today. I may catch up on some sleep in Curtis' comfy bed and then start my packing instead. I have to get at least some of that sorted, because I know what I'm like, I'll leave it until very last minute.

Anyway, off to nap toodle-oo

Jo x

A la Jod

2007-09-16T06:47:30Z

I realized this evening that it's been a while since I blogged, so on that note, here I am...blogging.

This evening has been really lovely, Curtis had a day off today so he took me out for dinner and a movie, we had some yummy food and watched 3:10 to Yuma, which is an awesome film.

Had some weird emotional crying thing happen at a very awkward time this morning, if I could go back to that moment I'd have slapped myself for being so silly. On that note, going back to that moment...yum <3 But anyway, that was odd, I had a morning of feeling a tad self conscious, not my usual self for sure.

Curtis had a very busy week, he was at Truck Academy, Monday to Friday going over some previous lessons and learning some new information about the new Ladder Truck his station is receiving, I'm really excited for him, being there has given him some excellent opportunities for learning as well as bonding with the other guys at the station, it's really nice to hear how well work is going for him and how he is advancing in his position. It was a tiring week for him and he is back at work tomorrow and Monday, I wish I could keep him here snuggled up in bed, but, work is work.

I've got to start some packing tomorrow, I leave Wednesday and arrive back in the UK Thursday. I'm really really not looking forward to leaving. I knew this time would come at the end of the 3 months here, but nothing prepares you for that moment where you have to get on the plane. One positive thing though that I can always think about is that a few months down the line, I'll hopefully be here permanently = D I really can't wait. For the time being there is a lot to plan and save for and a huge amount to look forward to.

These past 3 months, I can honestly say, hand on my heart that they have been the best of my life so far. I've experience and learned so much, not only of the change of pace and my surrounding but of Curtis and our relationship. This time has definitely solidified a lot of things, it's really brought us closer as each day passes, I love him more and more as each day goes by.

I have so much to say right now, so much I want to do before I go, so much I want to express, but sometimes there are just no words that quite fit the bill. Some things and specifically some people are just beyond words.

It's Jodie, again.

2007-08-20T20:44:10Z

So, I finally finished writing my essay, yay! Just gotta type it up, add in some quotations and some citations and I should be all done. I'm so glad to have gotten it all written out, it's taken me longer than it should have but I'm pretty happy with the results, so = D

Nothing much else happening today, I think I may get some felt out and customise my white long sleeve, hooded top...hmmm.

Edit: It took me forever to get to sleep last night and now I'm up at 5:44am due to getting creeped out by a buzzing sound near my face...great.

On the topics of shared spaces, in RL and on the tubes.

2007-08-18T21:08:48Z

Herro.

My name is Curtis, and I am typing to you on the internets. I'm not normally a big blogger, but I'm learning that when you start combining your life with another's, certain things tend to cross over and merge together and FUSE. For example, Jodie really enjoys her livejournal time, and it makes her smile when I get involved too, and that's worth alot. So, here I am, and here you are. I'll try and keep this coherent for you.

Have you ever tried to explain an internet relationship to someone who does NOT frequent the internet? Have you noticed that they instantly tend to deny that relationship credibility? I think it's because they don't see a connection between the tangible world and the intangible text box. To be honest, I had trouble with that connection as well. But that's more because I initially used the internet to air out aspects of my personality that I kept bottled in the RL. Anyone who knows TheSwP knows the wild, rambunctious, attention-whoring, and hopefully hilarious side of Curtis that he used to keep confined within his own cranium. It was like an entirely separate person from who I was in real life. There were two halves of me that never met. I think I used the tubes as my own personal fantasy world, where I had a lot of freedom to shape things into what I wanted. Accordingly, I never took anything that happened on the 'nets very seriously, and skipped light and free among the electrons with no ties to reality.

Then, the nets and the RL started to come together.

I was involved in an internet community that extended beyond the computer and into my life and world. People I met, and joked, and gamed, and conversed with online became the people I would make special trips to see in the real world. And it was awesome. I realized that the freedom of conversation we enjoy online translates into some of the most solid friendships you can ever make in this life. Because you meet people at the brain-level. Eye-to-eye, with no physical barriers to overcome. You can truly KNOW a person, and be known, because all the restraints of physicality don't apply to you when you're online. This level of knowledge is so solid, that it translates directly from the 'net to the world with no hitches whatsoever. The only thing that changes is that you interact face-to-face, with spoken word instead of text. Everything else meshes seamlessly. As I was learning this fact, I also found that my own two personalities were starting to merge as well. The tongue-in-cheek and vibrantly wild side of me that clowned and laughed and <3'd online started to make itself known to my rl friends. As well, the serious and solemn person that I am began finding a place in the internet. Two halves began merging into a much more complete whole. And many, many things began taking shape that wouldn't have been clear to me before.

All of this is a prelude to a lot of serious discussion on the FD community, my relationship with Jodie, my friends and gamer buddies and family online, and many other things. All that will have to wait until I have more time, and a chance to sort out my thoughts and feelings, and decide what I want to say. At any rate, I've written enough for now. This shared blogging thing is a new one on me, and it'll take some time to get in the swing of things, but thanks for reading. I'll be back.

sigh

2007-08-13T16:29:41Z

I'm not feeling so good this morning, my body feels like crap, my mind isn't in the right state to get my essay sorted (which needs to be done!) and I'm missing Curtis, alot.

He was supposed to be home today for his regular 2 days off/2 days on shift pattern but there are a few big fires going on so he just called and told me he probably won't be coming home for another 4 days. I know he has to work, but it doesn't stop me missing him and wishing he were here.

I left a message on his voicemail because as we were talking I'm not sure if the phone cut off as I said I love him, I hope it didn't and I hope he heard those words.

I'm going to lay down and see if I can re-charge, I'm feeling drained even though I've not done anything, I guess it's a touch of emotions/hormones mixed in.

I just hope he stays safe, he always says he will, but I still pray <3

Update

2007-08-11T06:21:03Z

Just a little update, I'm changing this blog into both mine and Curtis's. A little place for us to blog together, or separately.
Hopefully he'll remember the password = D

^_^

2007-07-30T22:58:58Z

I love Curtis Alan Mettler *eskimo kisses*

Me again

2007-07-23T06:00:19Z

Time to bore you all with more of my ramblings.

Curtis went back to work this morning, had a really good two days with him before he went back, kinda missing him already, enjoyed the snuggles before he went though = )

Helped Curtis's mom wash his grandpa's dog Heidi out on the lawn, wore one of his FFD shirts which smelt like him, yum! Fell asleep afterwards for an hour, told you I was having a lazy day!

I was just sitting about and thinking about sweet things, mmm, so naughty. I actually made a little *ahem* list of things I shouldn't eat, but would eat if they were infront of me and available from the UK lol.

So here's a few examples:

In no particular order and only a few of the many many many things I had on my list, from top to bottom:

- Jammie Dodgers
- Party Rings
- Iced Gems
- Bourbon Cream Biscuits
- Skips
- Pickled Onion Monster Munch
- Jelly Babies
- Peach or Lemon Barley Water
- Tiger Bread
- Egg Custards
- Tetley Tea Bags

So, if I had the money/time I'd so get my mom to box up some of this list and send it my way, I can just taste a good cup of tea/barley water with some biscuits/custards *drool*

Well, enough of my rambling, I best be getting to bed. Muchly loves <3

Time for bed

2007-07-21T07:08:04Z

Just a small (I almost wrote snail) update before I head to bed.

Curtis came home today which is great, only two day's gone but still, I missed him alot and it's great to be with him = )

We started the day pretty lazily I guess, sat around playing with the 360 and dozing on and off. I had an interview at 2pm at Caffe E Via, so we drove down there and it seemed to go pretty well, hopefully I'll know sometime this weekend. On that note, also waiting to hear from a few other places, I'll make some calls tomorrow and follow those up.

We got home not much later than 3 and I realised I had forgotten to pick up a few ingredients for a Chili I was making, me being the dumbass and all. So, another trip to the grocery store and back home. Dinner turned out pretty good even though I had been fretting over using celery instead of peppers in it. I was pleased that Curtis and his parents liked it, I get in such a fuss over details when I'm cooking for people.

Curtis got tickets to a gig at the Belmont to see his friend's band so we headed down there, it was pretty cool, his friend Sean (I hope I got that right) is a pretty awesome drummer. I think Curtis is re-thinking the idea of getting a kit, it would be great in my opinion, he is fantastic at it and it's something he loves.

Well, we wound down the evening with Jamba Juice and much flopping on the bed in the light of Splinter Cell on Cutis's giant tv screen. He's tucked up in bed and I guess this is the point where I should do the same.

A day of little jobs, chilling around the house and seeing how the day rolls on by, I hope it goes slowly mind, every second with Curtis is precious... call me soppy, but it's true.

Goodnight and sweet dreams all, sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite <3

...oh and chewy just stunk the room out...gross!

Bakersfield

2007-07-19T04:56:04Z

Just an update on what's been going on.

Curtis and I went up to Bakersfield yesterday to see some of his family who had gathered at his Aunt and Uncles house. The drive up was hot but good, we got there fairly quickly and I love going on journey's with Curtis = )

When we got there no-one was in yet so we drove around and found a pay phone because Curtis had forgotten his mobile. We got back to the house and I met alot of family, Uncles, Aunts and Cousins and a gorgeous Labrador puppy called Bailey.

I had a really good time meeting his family, I was extremely appreciative for the opportunity and it gave Curtis and I chance to talk and bond. I feel closer to him than ever, he is incredible, and even that doesn't come close.

Well, again the wheels of work seem to be turning again but I don't want to speak too soon, so *fingers crossed* and many prayers.

Curtis is back at work but he'll be home Friday, can't wait to see him <3

I gotta call the bank back at home because the gym is still tryoing to take money out of my bank account even though I cancelled my membership and my direct debit back in April, it's crazy.

Anyway, Ill update again soon, but for now, muchly loves.

Please note,

2007-07-13T18:00:24Z

Jodie is bored.

That is all. Move along...

go..

...shoo

I mean it...

...fine, stay there.

Holy Shit Batman!

2007-07-07T20:45:52Z

I GOT MY FRICKIN' SSN!!!!

*dances around the room until she get's dizzy*

Yawn

2007-07-07T13:32:56Z

Well, it's 6:20am and I'm wide awake, have been since half past 4 this morning. My mind has not been behaving instead it has been swirling thoughts and frustrations continuously through it.

*Sigh* I got so frustrated yesterday. I'm really getting cabin fever to say the least, I want to be working, how wierd is that? But it is getting quite frustrating and stressful when I'm sitting around the house and my mind isn't active.

So, I've emailed my tutors at uni and hopefully when they get back to me I'll know what essay I have to re-do, so that will keep my busy. Also, hopefully my social security will come very soon *fingers crossed* so I can go and work.

I may go over to footlocker today and get myself some running shoes, for two reasons, 1, I want to *try* and go running with Curtis, I'd like to be more active and healthy and this seems the best way even though I have no form and all confidence in running was lost back when I was 11. 2, I want some decent shoes for the next time we go to Yosemite, I want to be able to push myself a bit further and actually do some distance hiking with Curtis, for this I need comfortable shoes.

I don't really want to spend any money, I have very little of it, but footlocker had some Asics *yay* on sale reduced from $140ish down to $40, that my friend, is a bargain!!

Things with Curtis are going really well, we had a really nice 4th of July together. We had a nice lazy morning, headed over to his brother Phil's for a little while, headed back home and napped on the sofa together (or to be exact, I napped on Curtis's chest while he napped) *yum* and headed back out to watch the fireworks at the park with his friends wife and her 2 year old daughter.

We spend the 5th relaxing pretty much aswell, went and saw Transformers, which kicked ass and spend the day just laying about really.

Anyway, I might go make a cup of tea and some breakfast and sit out on the back porch for a little while. I'm certainly not gonna head back to bed, perhaps I'll take a shower...who am I kidding? My pj's are mega comfy. Stuff that.

Oh and don't forget, today of 07-07-07, it's supposed to be a lucky day, I hope it is for all of you = )

Update

2007-06-29T22:19:09Z

Well, I said just the other day that I felt things beginning to bloom and things are certainly taking motion, though I don't want to jinx anything so *fingers crossed and touch wood*

Curtis has Tuesday and Wednesday off and we just relaxed, talked alot which was so nice and spent some really really good quality time together. He went back to work Thursday but is home after his shift finishes at 8am tomorrow morning = D

I called the local social security office today and the woman who answered had processed my forms and sent them off to Maryland yesterday, so by Tuesday at the latest I should recieve a reciept and then hopefully again *fingers crossed and touch wood* soon after my ssn should appear ^_^

I also called the shoe shop that want's to give me a job and the manager is going to get her boss to fill in my Job Offer form so I can send it to the UK before my 30 days ends.

So, other than that not much happening, thinking I'm gonna make some peanut butter cookies for Curtis for when he gets home *yum* ;)

So, much loves and keep on...trucking? <3

International Bloggery

For Dana

Gah!

Oy!

Update

Thinking

Hair

Finally an update from me

For now, click:

Job Status

...*sigh*...

Soooo...

Wakey Wakey, it's me again

A la Jod

It's Jodie, again.

On the topics of shared spaces, in RL and on the tubes.

*sigh*

Update

^_^

Me again

Time for bed

Bakersfield

Please note,

Holy Shit Batman!

*Yawn*

Update

...sigh...

sigh

Yawn